this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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