Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
