best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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