You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I need moral support for this bender
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
