It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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