I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Let's paint friendship bongs
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
