Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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