Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
