Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
