Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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