Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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