What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
