I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
