Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
