then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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