at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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