ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
