I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
