did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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