Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
