When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
