the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
