Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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