No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
