This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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