Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
