she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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