I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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