I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
