Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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