does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Two words: blizzard sex
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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