I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
