Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"

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(828): View more from North Carolina

As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.

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(817): View more from Texas

I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating

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(203): View more from Connecticut

walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?

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(801): View more from Utah

im getting coffee to go get coffee.

(435): View more from Utah

Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

He? As in you personified your dick?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.

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