I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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