we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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