I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
