I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
