I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
