Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
