I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
