im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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