I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
