I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
