We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
