there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
