Nicole vs. Life
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
