I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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