he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
