Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
