He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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