Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
