oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize
