you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
