i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
